could use some advice!
My fiances sister has got a toddler who is 2 years an 3 months old. Personally i am slightly convinced that he has got a problem/disability, or jus generally some sort of behavior problem. He hasnt got any sort of speech developed yet except from mum, but he will pretty much call most people mum, an he screams an throws himself about, it is horrible an sooo embarrasin, i dont like to meet up wiv her in town or anything coz he is jus so loud an he scares my LO! btu on the other hand he can be very clever, he understands almost most things that u say to him! She is a single mum, who hs had a tough time with her LO dad, not very interested in him an doesnt pay a penny towards him! but wants to take her to court to get get rights over him, personally i dont think its outer interest for his son but more so to get one up on her! And today she had a really bad day with him an he mostly jus screamed an was jus loud an in the end she had enough an rang my fiances mum an sed I cant do it anymore i have tried my best with him but i jus cant take anymore can u take him for me tonight, which she did, his mum bends over backwards for her an has him once a week over night because his dad aint interested! jay (my finace) his mum is on holiday next week an i had her round my house earlier in floods of tears sayin how bad she feels for the LO because her daughter jus doesnt seem to have the maternal instinct with him and that tbh she doesnt want him to really live with her an she is worried wen she goes on holiday that she wont be here to help, so i sed i would have him over night sometimes, not that i really want to, an its not fair on the little one being thrown about from person to person!!! I really really dont no wat to do!! i really need some advice!! I hope this makes sence!!
Sounds like he could be Autistic to me? xx
by Bethan 22 July 2010
@Bethan- that s exactly wat i keep sayin, but no one will listen to me, i used to work in a nursery, so u ave to look out for all these little signs! the other day he built up some bricks but he did them all in colour co-ordination! x x
by kerry 23 July 2010
I would have said the same.. unfortunately however, even if you did manage to convince your sister they wont test for autism until 3 years old. On the other hand, theres alot to be said for attachment... how was your SIL's relationship with her son when he was a baby? Can she not cope with him now because of his behaviour, or was his behaviour causes by her not coping (bonding) with him? Do you see what I mean?
The best thing you can do hun IMO is to read up on his behaviour and then show what you find to your SIL and MIL. Maybe then he'll get the help he needs xxxx
by ryansmummyuk 23 July 2010
@ryansmummyuk- yeh i no they cant do nothing till he is 3, thats y i sugested to them to get him into playschool asap so that wen he turns 3 they can refer him an get the support that they need for him. My SIL has never had a bond with him, whichis sad, but wen she was 15 she fell pregnant, she was really excited about it but then she had a miscarriage
Then wen she turnt 16 she fell pregnant again, convinced that she needed to have another baby, but personally i think it was too soon after she had her misscarriage an she didnt have time to greeve! from the minute she found out she was prenatn again, her OH asked her to have an abortion, which she of course sed no, which really frustrated me because he never wore condoms because he 'didnt like them' but expected her to have an abortion? anyway, 2 weeks before she was due to give birth he dumped her, he also slept with another girl while he was with her an she was pregnant!! she had a very trumatic birth an had depression after she had the LO. So it has been very hard for her but she has done well, but i think the behaviour jus tops it off for her. It seems that if he is with someone else but not her, his behaviour is a bit better, but he can still scream an throw fits!!
Its so hard for me to watch, an its such a shame that wont help any sooner, extra support should be given, especially to single mums!! x x
by kerry 23 July 2010
@kerry sounds to me like she probably has very bad post natal depression. Perhaps someone could have a word with her and go to the gp with her. It does sound like he's autistic and that is alot to deal with espescially at such a young age.
My sister has autism and she was getting help before the age of 3 with her behaviour and then as soon as she turned 3 she got her diagnosis. I'm sure there is some way they can help her even if it's not diagnosing him?! Perserverance is often the key in these situations.
Sounds like she's had a rough time poor love and anyone would be struggling slightly in her situation but sounds to me as if she's been trying to hard to cope on her own for too long and could do with a hand? Could she contact homestart, they're great and can visit her once a week to help with anything around the house or just play with her son. And her ex sounds like an idiot. Let us all know if anything gets better xxx
by LittleMumma 23 July 2010