I've never seen in discussed on here but if older mums-to-be go through it I'm sure someone on here will understand...
Since day 1 my boyfriend wanted a specific gender, I said I didn't mind which I honestly thought was true. At my 20 weeks scan we found out the gender and now I'm really regretting it as I didn't know quite how much I wanted the opposite gender... it's completely changed the way I see myself as a mother and whilst I'm glad my little one is healthy and happy and I love Crumb more than anything, I was genuinely gutted. I've felt so guilty since for how I feel and I wish I'd left the gender a surprise so I could grow to love the person rather than the idea. I worry now about whether I'll ever have the gender I didn't know I wanted, this pregnancy's been extremely difficult and it's really put me and my partner off having anymore children and even if we did I might just get another baby the same gender.. It's difficult and a bit like grieving the child I was expecting but now aren't going to have. The inital feeling is loss...then guilt... just wondered if anyone has a similar story?
Just to add - I don't resent my little one in any way, I'll always be Crumb's mummy and I'll always love them!
by LilynCrumb 5 February 2012
Crumb's the gender my partner wanted all along so he's over the moon ^.^
by LilynCrumb 5 February 2012
@LilynCrumb What gender is baby? I actually wonder if that should be a reason for me not finding out the gender when I do have a baby because I for some reason think I will have a boy first! Haven't a clue why but when I dream about being a mum I have a little boy, really clueless why though!
I don't think you need to worry about being guilty of anything, everyone has the right to feel a certain way about such a thing but as long as you know that crumb will be loved whatever the gender, I shouldn't worry yourself. xx
by lifes_a_test 5 February 2012
@LilynCrumb I get how u feel. When I was pregnant I had my heart set on a girl really badly n cuz I was scared that if I was having a boy that I wouldn't act like the mummy I knew I could be so I held off finding the sex then we went for a private 4D scan at 30weeks n I had to know n thankfully peanut was a girl n its sounds awful but I was relieved which then made me feel bad cuz if I was to have a boy I wondered how I would be even future kids as I would like another girl if was to hve any more.
Once lil crumb is born u will love the person they r n soon it won't bother u what gender they r. Crumb is still ur baby n will love u forever n u will surprise urself at what at fab mummy u will be xx
Ps u keeping the gender secret?
by xxSarahJanex 5 February 2012
@xxSarahJanex yes haha, just to drive the grandparents mad
I wanted a surprise but because my partner wanted to know we found out and now I'm dealing with the consequences lol...knew I should've waited xD
Thank you both for your replies, it's hard not being able to talk to anyone at all about it
by LilynCrumb 5 February 2012
i think u should be grateful wat u are blessed with watever the gender! so wat if uv 20 boys or 20 girls as long as their happy and healthy!!
by bobbys_mummy 5 February 2012