bubbalicious: the place for young parents

I came to this conclusion after mentioning this topic to my husband; I think it could be to do with the responsibility the guy is going to have once the baby arrives. He not only has to care for his partner, but also the other mouth he has to feed. It's unlikely he is going to have a payrise over night, so the worry of finding the extra money for clothes, cots, nappys, bottles and all the 'little' things that need to be bought at the start and then anything else throughout. There is also the fear of not being a good enough dad and not having a bond with the child. There could also be times the guy feels pushed out, not because his partner wants to but because she has other responsibilities such as feeding etc, this could possibly be more apt when it's the first child. Plus the lack of sex and sleep lol.

i think its because the dad is thinking of his new life, how its going to change, maybe he didnt want the baby at all, or maybe he really wants to be in the childs life but isnt with the mother anymore and is stressing about how he can see his baby or not.. ? i guess loads of different reasons.. /: xxxx

@my_princess depression is an imbalance of neurotransmitters in your brain called noradrenaline and serotonin which makes them not work properly. Depression is a disease and life experiences are a trigger so if you had a bad experience during birth that could be the trigger that made you get depressed. So in a way yes it is to do with experiences but it can also be because of your birth experience too...if that makes sense :) xxx

i think its because of the bad thoughts of becoming a dad so soon and having to change theor life completely with less money etc x

i personally think that postnanal depression doesnt have anything to do with actually giving brith i think its got to do with the experiences you go through during labour and birth and the first few weeks with your baby and that can affect both parents. x

@intuition thats really interesting! i have heard of men who have pains etc when thier partner goes into labour - but haven't been told yet, and i have heard about someone who put on weight during their parners pregancy and got a big belly, but i didn't know there was a real condition!

Found it - it's called Couvade Syndrome .

My other half didn't just get postnatal depression, but he got my other symptoms too. Where we usually pee and sweat more after birth, getting rid of water retention - HE did. Where we usuall cry when someone dies in a soap - HE did. At first I thought it was total madness. Then I read an article online where it's real. It's a physcological thing. Cant remember what it's called unfortunately! But it's a real "condition" where the man develops the symptoms and/or depression that a woman normally gets after giving birth. It's not just depression. Total madness, but I've witnessed it with my own eyes. He was fine with our first, fine with our second but the third? All that happened and I was the one who DIDNT get post natal depression for a change. It's like we swapped. Very strange xx

Hmmmm I suppose it could be called post natal depression but then at the end of the day its all depression so who cares what it's called?! How much more stressful can it be than being the one pregnant for 40 odd weeks, giving birth for god knows how long and doing exactly what mummy does?! Strange. My partner came with me to each and every single scan, check up, ant i injection etc. He even slept on the hospital floor the night i gave birth. I can understand life can be stressful for both parents after the amazing, weird and wonderful changes a baby can bring but it's making it sound like dads shouldn't feel like this because it's a mums job- when it's not it's a parents job therefore both should do it! Sometimes i think daddies don't like the fact they don't have mummys full attention anymore and the fact is they know they would choose their child over them in an instant should the need arise.

I don't disagree with dads being depressed after the birth of a child, but calling it Post Natal Depression just seems wrong to me!! Yes they have the stress of being the bread winner, being involved with the baby, adstaining from alcohol etc which could very well make the depressed! Most dads want to be the breadwinner though. What do they mean feel the pain of birth, they feel nothing!!! The witness the pain but dont actually go through it and as for being at scans etc to bloody right they should be at the scans, its an amazing experience that they don't and shouldn't want to miss!! My partner wanted to go to all the scans and all my appointments when I first found out I was pregnant!! I told him there wasnt any point, explained what happened etc. He was with me for 2 of my 3 scans (3rd scan was at 36 weeks, thought baby was breach), rushed me to the hospital at 20weeks to have an emergency anti d injection because I slipped on ice but he wasnt involved with the normal appointments. Is it really that hard for a bloke to turn up at the scans? Most women only have 1 or 2 in the whole 9 months I dont think thats much to ask!! Personally I think the dads becomme depressed because their lives have changed so much and they are no longer as carefree as they used to be!