bubbalicious: the place for young parents

I am petrified of cot death, my advice, try not to look it up on the internet, thats what I did and drove myself crazy a few nights running sat staring for the best part of the night!! Think positive and I have quit smoking and so has my partner hoping that will reduce the risk, we never smoked around baby but its on your clothes..

cot death runs in the family. my cousin ayla died at the age of two weeks old. i never got to meet her as i was still in my mums tummy. so im scared sometimes when i dont see my son breathing. when he was born i got really scared cause i thought he stopped breathing so i got up every five minutes just to check if he was ok. i still check on him now as i get really worried.

cot death is something i think every mother inevitably worries about. just got to bear in mind how rare it is x

i was so scared of this happening

i am still terrified by it but mine is now 14 months :/

some nights i get really worried about it and its always in the back of my mind, i try my best not to think about it though because it gets me really stressed x

what mum isnt worried about cot death! just have to do all you can to prevent it.

No i personally dont worry about it all

Im sorry to hear about your loss vicky. Apparently a dummy is meant to help prevent cot death. Im scared that it may happen to me but then you have to think positive and try not to think about the bad things that could happen. Keeping your mind set on your lil one and believing in your self and that you are doing the right thing. Also following any advise that anyone can gives you can help. xx

Hi @melissah1, it is not that there is no cause, it is that no-one knows the cause of cot death. What we do know is that there are simple things that you can do to reduce the risk. Advice for parents to reduce the risk of cot death includes: -Place your baby on the back to sleep, in a cot in a room with you -Do not smoke in pregnancy or let anyone smoke in the same room as your baby -Do not share a bed with your baby if you have been drinking alcohol, if you take drugs or if you are a smoker -Never sleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair -Do not let your baby get too hot -Keep your baby’s head uncovered and place your baby in the “feet to foot” position You can find more info at www.fsid.org.uk

they say there is no cause but i dont get it because there are supposedly ways of preventing it, so is it distress or what?

i did worry but not no more x

If there is a phobia for cot death than i had it for years before i even got pregnant ive always wanted a baby but when i read or heard stories about those unfortunate people it has happend to i felt so sick and i would cry. Not sure why tho but im very emotional anyway. There's a lot of cot death in my family so when i did get pregnant i worried all the time and the first few months after she was born i was constantly checking shes ok. im not like that anymore now also the thought is still there in the back of my head. It does still scare me. (thinking of all the little angels that dint make it) <3

i am so paranoid with it i wae up paniking just in case sumin over his face or something i put a mirror over his mouth see is it steems up my bby cuz died of cot death that why its soo scary

I'm so paranoid about cot death that I bought one of those baby monitors with a motion sensor! I still use it every night even though my son is 13months now! I had five miscarriages before my son which obviously isn't the same but are still upsetting. I'd hate to lose my son and I am so sorry to all the mothers (and fathers) that lost their babies.

Its so sad to hear about things like this, but I think it could happen to anyone you cant say its more likely/common or whatever with teen mums thats just not right.

its so scary to think about, i dont know what i would do if that happened to me. x

I am soo sorry to hear of your loses Vicky & April, your so brave. But yer am very scared of it, not matter what you do theres always a chance of it happening. Soo heartbraking! x

My mum is a midwife and says that the reason more young mums lose their children to cot death than any other group is because the age range that classifies 'young mums' is 16-25 and this is the age group having the most babies! xxx

Cot death is sad and must be heartbreaking and I suppose people can only try their hardest to prevent it although in a lot of cases the parents have done everything by the book and cot death has still occured.

Obviously as a young parent I was offended when I initially discovered this report. After looking at it more closely, and speak with adults and a local health visitor, I think i know why.... Many have said its because young parents want their sleep, so have their babies in with them. And others say its due to smoking and overheating of the baby. To be honest though, I think it's just another way to suggest young parents are inadequate and lazy, as they need a strong statistic to point to, so they chose to pick on people like us. Although, I have found I try to do everything 'properly' because i feel as if i need to prove that I am a good parent.

I agree with christine. Is it that young mums aren't given all the right advice etc to do with cot death or that they just do not listen. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a child to cot death, I cannot imagine how much that must hurt. Unfortunatly you can do everything that you are told and the baby is still a victim to cot death. I think its all mothers that are at risk, not just young mums. There needs to be more support for young mums to help educate them.

it could happen to any ones child not just a young mum,,,,,

It is the statistics gathered by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) that show us the fact that young mums are more likely to have a cot death. We also know from statistics that premature babies are more at risk. This doesn't tell us why but we just want to give advice to all parents and especially anyone who is more vulnerable.

Cot deaths can happen to anyone, I would love to know exactly why they beleive its more common in young mothers

I lost my son almost 2 months ago. I would have done anything to change what happened but unfortunately I cant. Again here come the statistics. Yes young mums do lose children, but its not because we are young.

Cot death is always so tragic, it breaks my heart when i hear of people losing there babys to cot death:(

Sometimes life just isn't fair :( So sorry to hear these stories xx

i lost my daughter to cot death at 8 weeks of age. I didn't drink or smoke and also did everything by the book. It is just one of those unexplained things but it doesn't help they way you are treated if you are a young mum.

Aww vicky I am so sorry to hear that. A lady on another forum that I had the same due date as and became very attached to had a son that died at just 12 days old of cot death. She did everything in the book and it was so sad to hear. It broke all of our hearts and we never knew what to say to her but gave her money to buy a rememberance necklace that she is getting his footprints on and everything. I think the reason Teen mom would be considered at higher risk is just because SOME are very uneducated and do not listen to the advice. That being said they are thinking it has something to do with an under developed part of the brain so if that is the case to completely prevent it couldn't really happen could it? I don't know. I just wish it never happened. It always seems to happen to the best of people and makes me horribly sad.

First off, i'm so sorry to hear about your loss Vicky! I am so scared about cot deaths. I don't understand why babies who have teenage parents are 'more likely' to have a cot death. I think its because some teen parents are undereducated and MIGHT NOT listen to the advice. Or there could be aload of unexplained reasons |-) xx

my first son was 6 months when i lost him to cot death, i didnt smoke or drink and done everything 'by the book'. i guess these things are unexplained, and maybe with research it could be prevented further. i would advise anyone, to follow advice from doctors.