bubbalicious: the place for young parents

I shared my bed with my youngest for the first 8 months of her life because I was breast feeding and she was a terrible sleeper, she 3 but I never smoked or drunk alcohol so I was awre she was there. It is dangerous but I have friends who have done everything by the book and still been devestated by cot death. My cousins little boy was 19 months and he died of sudden infant death syndrome and she did everything as by the book as she could.

My mum shared a bed with all 5 of her children and they were fine... However, i got a moses basket for my lil man

id never bedshare

i had my baby in his cot in our room which was ok and when it was time for him to go in his own room he was really good better than what i thought, it was me couldnt sleep at first as i was listing for him all the time but he loves it now.

its strange but NCT says bedsharing with your baby is ok in mos circumstances x

I feel guilty for letting my baby sleep in my bed now incase something had happened to him:(

I wouldn't bed share, if something was to happen I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I think you should think about the safe ways instead of thinking it'd be nice to cuddle up to your baby asleep

It can be dangerous,but i think it depends on what kind of a sleeper you are,its so easy to have your baby sleep next to you when your breastfeeding,and they feel comforted as well.

my baby girl will be sleeping in her moses basket once she is born

it's so much easier in the middle of the night when you have a screaming baby to bring it into bed with you saying it's only till s/he settles and before you know it your asleep before the child leading to the child being in the bed till someone wakes up... It's eaiser yes but think is it really wotrth the risk. I know so many people wh say its fine but really it's more common sense that your likely to roll over on top of the baby and do damage if your lucky ,if your unlucky you could be planning your baby's funeral. Please babies do not need to be in bed with mummy and daddy

I wouldn't bed share, i'd be to scared of what might happen, my little girl will be safe and sound in her crib :)

my lil girl will be going in her moses basket

i would never risk bedsharing,to scared of the possible consiquences

my son sleeped in bed wit me after he turned one when he was teething really bad :( xx

my son sleeped in bed wit me after he turned one when he was teething really bad :( xx

i would if my child was older like 4 years or something but defnintlly not as a baby, i'd be so scared of rolling on them i wouldn't sleep

when my baby is born i wontt be bedsharing it'll will be in a mosseys basket..

i have let my little one sleep in with me for an hr or so in the mornings a few times, but wouldnt even share all night.

Its nice to have a cuddle with the baby but now i am more aware of not letting my baby sleep on my bed

i think i'll never sleep with my baby in same bed as me i'd be way 2 paranoid! im not even 20 weeks yet and i've already got moses basket and cot ready !

i always put my girl into her own cot as i nop if she comes in bed with me this can cause death

Sometimes i bring my daughter into bed with me to help settle her to sleep, but i put her into her basket before i nod off.....its nice to have a cuddle.

I agree that babies shouldnt be kept in bed with parents, its too dangerous, u may role over in ur ssleep etc. When my toddler was a baby and I used to breastfeed in the middle of the night i used to lay her next to me to feed, I often fell asleep because I was so tired but i would ask my partner to check that the baby was in the moses basket and I also used to try to keep awake as much as possible!

my daughters have shared my bed but only when they have had nightmare, more than anything its considered a treat forr them to sleep with me because its so rare x

i'd never sleep in the same bed as my baby,, i'd never be able to settle "/

its annoying cos its so uch easier, but its not woorth the risk

My son still sleeps in my bed and he is 2 years old but trust me you are making a rod for your own back doing this!

my daughters slept in our bed since she was 3 months old n shes now 22 months old, when my little boy is born i will make sure he stays in his cot n i will get my daughter in her own bed.

i will be using a cotbed & moses basket for my baby and deffinatly wont be co-sleeping. At first it was just because im selfish and hog so much of the bed i was scared id squash her but now after reading about the risks, it really isnt worth taking the risk. Ill be keeping her in her own bed xx

true x

Perfectly true xx

i know people say bed sharing is so bad but are little girl suffers from hypoplastic left heart syndrome and she gets so scared being in her cot coz of the memories of hospital that even the professionals said it was safe for her to be with us. we have 3 bed guard rails and a very thin blanket for her and we put pillows either side of her so we carnt roll on her, they say this is very safe for her :)

I would always check on my son to make sure he was sleeping on the right way x

I cosleep with my little girl and i breastfeed its so much easier! if i didnt cosleep id be up all night! x

i havnt coslept as such but if he's been teething or poorly i've brought him in, i always do it safely though, no pillows and i dont smoke or have him in if i'd had a drink. I didnt bring him in till he was 4 months, was too scared before then and we hit the 4 month sleep regression and it was easier to have him in

im so scared of cot death. my nan lost a baby to cot death, and so did my mum. im sooo scared!! :(

i would never let my baby sleep in my bed if there was any way i could fall asleep too. just wanting something to happen i would say.. xx

Strangley Enough, Dummies Can Lower The Chance Of CotDeath , So Can Breastfeeding.

i used to let my son share mybed,but i would worry alot, ut now he is always in his cot wich is way better. x

I've never let my son sleep in my bed with me, i'd worry far too much

i would never have my bby sleepin with me i wouldnt be able to sleep cuz its so tiny and i could end up suffercating it ... itss defoo a no no

my son sleeps with me in my bed sometimes. but i have a instinct and as soon as he moves i wake up. he is now starting to sleep in his cot but when he gets up in the night i usually end up putting him in bed with me again. it can cause cot death but i sleep so light that any movement he makes i instantly get up to check him.

how do babies even have cot death what causes it im so confused?

can a child go straight into a cot from birth? xxx

I had my baby in bed with me from birth.. and one night i had her in bed with mee an she went into cot death.. i done mouth to mouth too her.. i took her to hospital were the doctors run test.. one doctor said i had smotherd my baby.. buhh they had a really high doctor downn that does cot death.. likee she said it's cot death.. because if it was smotherd the body leaves gasses off.. an with cot death youu cant pick nothing up,, witch they didnt pick nothing up.. my littlee one was on a monitor for 6months.. ever since iv never had her in bed with mee.. id advise people dont put your child in bed with youu x

how is cot death caused? xx

I Would No Way Bedshare Its To Dangerous x

i never knew how dangerous it could be until reading these comments and speaking to my midwife yesterday, loads of my friends have pictures of them or their boyfriends with their baby asleep on them and them asleep on sofa, i thought it would be safe, im so glad ive been given all this information as its really helped me out for when my baby arrives x

Hi guys, Can’t comment on any particular product but would like to mention that no one really knows why bedsharing is a risk factor for cot death/SIDS. It may not be because the parents roll onto their baby and suffocate them. The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a cot in your room for the first six months.

I have a snuggle nest for Summer, which means she's able to sleep in bed with me, and there's no danger of me suffocating her. It makes the nights so much easier.

I agree, it's alright to have a cuddle with your baby in your bed or on the sofa, but as soon as you start to feel tired, put them in there cot! someone i know child died of cot death, after he came in after a few drinks and his partner had fallen asleep with there baby in there bed and he didn't realize and actually suffocated her during the night. after you hear about something like that, if definitely changes your perspective.

me and my princess love a morning cuddle but she knows that bedtime means bedtime and she is in her own bed x

i think its lovely to have a little cuddle when you're laid in bed but i think as soon as you start to feel tired you should put the baby back in its own bed, i've fell asleep with my little girl in my bed before and i turned over in my sleep and nearly knocked her out of bed so that terrified me, i wont let my little girl fall asleep in bed with me now, i do think it's a matter of personal choice though x

It is lovely to cuddle up and do feeds all cosy in bed. Just wanted to point out again that there is a risk of cot death if you sleep with your baby. The risk is particularly high if you or your fella smoke, you've been drinking or take drugs or medications. Research shows the safest thing is to have your baby sleep in a cot next to your bed for the first six months.

Emma sleeps with me im trying to get her into her cot she usually sleeps in it untill 2-3am then wants mummys bed. I dont see a problem with it as long as you do it safely. Its great for bonding!

My Daughter some times sleeps in my bed, yes i know she shouldn't but thats when i fell like i can have a great nights sleep, she's 1 year old and i just feel so relaxed next to her, if i could fit in her cot honestly i would. Don't get me wrong she's in her cot more times than she is in my bed, just when her daddy''s away sometimes.

at one point my lil boy slept with us as he hated been on his own, he prefered to feel his mummys touch.

i think il be too soft, and tired and let my baby sleep in my bed, but i dont want to as my sister sleeps in my mums bed still and shes 4. also my boyfriend said we will use the crib and not let the baby in the bed... but i hope i can do it. :) x

my baby as sleep wiv me from 3months wouldnt recommend it cos am now struggling t get him in is own cot but hes now 11months and he is now kinda in his own cot

Wen my son wa first born he was always in his moses basket an then onto his cot. But once he got bigger he went thru a fase that he wouldnt sleep an would jus cry so i used to put him in bed with me as it was easier for me to sooth him an so i got some good sleep but now he is out of it he is back in his cot an i had no problem geting him back in there.

See This Is A big massive debate!!! I do Agree That Bedsharing Is sooo Hard to get your baby out of believe me im still trying to get him out of it... But i Breastfeed.... And all the experts on breastfeeding tell you that its safe to share a bed if your breastfeeding!!... if you ask me i feel alot more safe when my son is in bed with me itss not all the time but it was... it was bonding time too... i dont believe for one second that babies are more at risk if they sleep in the same bed,,, i dont smoke or drink anymore dont have the time for that lol... And rolling over onto my son not a chance your mothering instincts kicks in and believe me you do not move... you wake in the same position as you fell asleep!! but however the next child i have i will definatley not be putting in my bed- well thats my plan becausee its soooo hard work getting them out of it.. my boy is a well and truely mummys boy and doesnt like me putting him down. x

Bed sharing is a terrible thing to get out of, once you start doing it, baby grows attached its so hard to get them into there own bed or cot.

I just think It's not worth having you're baby in your bed while you're sleeping as well. when they're a bit older then it's a different, but not when they're so young.. it's not worth the risk of cot death.

My baby girl slept in her moses basket for the first week but now has got used to her cot, she is still a little hard to settle but i prefer her too sleep in her cot as i worry about cot death if she sleeps with me.

My little boy has always slept in a moses basket then a cot, hes really good, i suppose not getting him into the habit is the main thing

my lille boy has never been a good sleeper when he was first born till 3 months in his basket he wouls wake every 20mins so in the end the tiredness just got to me and he is now 1 and still in bed with me sleeps so much better i no people say you shouldnt do it but a mum needs her sleep!

to be honist am not sure what to think, the stats cannot be 100% truee, and most people that i seen write on here that have sadly lost a child to cot death didn't co-sleep with them! - i admit to having Josh in bed with me, and I am now trying to get out the habit, but even in his moses bakets or cot theres still a chance of it happening! x

i get scared if my baby sleeping with me, she sleeps in moses baskett nextt to me

I agree with Earthmummy...

@Bubbalicious -- the research on the relative risks of safe bed-sharing vs safe cot-sleeping is not really conclusive -- the SWISS study that was in the news found the rate to be slightly *lower* for bedsharing (but not statistically significantly lower). The researchers, who are world experts, have repeatedly been saying that the most important thing to focus on is avoiding the things that are really really risky such as sofa-sleeping. Who can know what's more likely: that a tired mum will doze off on the chair when she feeds her baby in the middle of the night, or that her partner will forget he's not supposed to have a drink if the baby's in the bed? All we can do is try to remember how to be safest when the baby's in the cot and when the baby's in the bed.

Can i just say one reason for defintely not having your baby in your bed even if you are not in it, MEMORY FOAM MATTRESSES! If you have a memory foam mattress this poses a much higher risk than a normal mattress as it is much less "breathable" should your baby flip over or even turn its head sideways as the "sink" in slightly.......happened to a friend of a friend.

my son wont even get in my bed hes two now, hes always been in his own cot,

bubbalicious - more people bed share than you might think. Cot-sleeping is apparently in the majority, but over 70% of parents bring their babies under the age of 1 into bed on a regular basis, so the statistics aren't as uneven as you might think

Shilly - babiesRus have a range of cot accessories that contribute too. I'm pretty sure there are others, but cant find the link right now

Thanks for the great discussion everyone - we thought it might be useful to add a few things. As Shilly pointed out, there are some times when your baby should never sleep with you - including if you smoke, have had a drink, if you're on a sofa or if they were premature. Everyone agrees these are a huge risk. If you're not in one of these high risk groups then the risk of sharing a bed with your baby is much, much lower. But putting your baby back in their cot is definitely safer. We added the question about bed-sharing into our levels because we think everyone should be aware that there is a slightly increased risk even if you're doing things as safely as possible. Of course everyone makes up their own mind, but we want to make sure you're making an informed decision. BTW - Research does show that deaths are more likely when there is ‘risky’ bed sharing but even in families where risks appear to be low or even absent infant deaths do occur significantly more often if bedsharing than if the baby slept in a cot in a room with the parents. Although as you say about half the deaths are bedsharing, and therefore half are in the cot, that does not mean the two sleeping places have equal risk. That is because much more infant sleeping takes place in a separate cot than in bedsharing, hence proportionately many more babies die bedsharing than die in their own cot.

Earthmummy, I think the advice is a bit dubious as well -- too black and white. But I think you ought to be careful in your accusations: where is the evidence? I had a look at the FSID accounts where they list all their donors who gave them more than £1k. The only two companies who have a stake in selling cots that I could see were Mothercare and John Lewis. Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't think so. And I don't think that either Mothercare or John Lewis makes enough money out of cots to risk the firestorm to their reputation of seeking to influence FSID research (even assuming that they made strategically significant donations, which isn't clear)

Bennbenn: so long as you're careful, you don't have to worry about having your baby in your bed. You need to be able to answer yes to ALL these questions to share a bed safely: 1) Are you sober? (not more than a glass of wine / bottle of beer and no legal drugs that make you sleepy, no illegal drugs at all -- not even weed). 2) Are you using blankets instead of a duvet? 3) Are you putting your baby to sleep on their back? This is much less important with a ten-month old than a less than six month old -- when your baby is old enough to turn over by themselves, as yours is, then the risk decreases. 4) Have you and your partner both stopped smoking completely? 5) Is your baby on directly on the bed, not on top of / near a pillow? Basically, you're looking to keep your baby warm but not too hot, and free of the risk of smothering by either the bedding or you / your partner. Hope this helps

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp "http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp The other side of the story :) I think it is very biased of this website to post research from ONE organisation and state it as fact on so many of it's pages. You even have to say that cot-sleeping is safer than co-sleeping to move up through the levels. So I'm sticking on level one out of protest. What ever happened to informed decisions?

54% died in their parent's bed OR ON THE SOFA. So if you take away those that died on the sofa, hown many died in a parent's bed with all the recommended precautions? LESS THAN 54%. And if 54% died while with a parent, 46% died in a cot. At the very least, it breaks even. Somebody at this FSIDS needs to do some maths and some PROPER RESEARCH. But then they get lots of funding from companies who make cots, so of course their finding's wont say cosleeping is safe. It's like getting pampers to say that huggies are good nappies. Which is why they lump cosleeping in a bed and falling asleep on the sofa together. I keeps the statistics pointing the way they want them too' Cosleeping is perfectly safe IF DONE PROPERLY. There are rules, same as for cot-sleeping.

i'd never get any sleep if jay didn't come into bed with me some nights. how does falling asleep on the settee not being safe mean bubs isn't safe in bed with you? surely its 2 completely different things?!

my daughter slept with me from birth until she was 3. i never had any problems. it was only a few months back i was watchin this morning and an expert on there said there is no extra risk of cot death when bedsharing and that it makes baby feel safer and you bond better. now its the total oposite! i think you should do what you feel is right, and however you feel comfortable is right for you. x

Our son used to sleep in our bed from 5- 12months, we are in a routine with him where, hes in his cot all the time, its hard, as he keeps waking up in the night, but i think its deff better.

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the whole thing about cot death that the baby dies unexpectedly in it's sleep reguardless if it's sleeping, on sofa, in mums bed or in timbuktu? Yes sleeping in same bed as youe baby is risky, but then again so is bathing baby, feeding baby, crossing the road with baby.... list is endless!

my lil boy charlie was 9 months old always slept in his own cot yet he still passed away children should be over the age of 9 months when put in their own room =[

My son use to nap with me on my bed in the very early days when I was a non-smoker. To date he still gets in our bed sometimes when he has a nightmare or is ill and wont settle. Ive never had any problems but I was always very careful. Didnt smoke, didnt drink, hadnt taken anything to make me extra sleepy and didnt cover him in my covers. I wouldnt recommend it as an every night thing but it was ok for us on an occasional basis.

my son is 7months and he has slept with me since he was born ive had no problem with it i think these stupid studies r just tht n scare ppl unneccersarily!!!

how old until you don't have to worry about this? our son is sick and teething and really wants to stay in our bed. He is 10 months.

So true. I now know to be even more aware of situations I put myself in through what has happened in my case. If ever you feel too tired ask for help no matter what time of day it is.

So true. I now know to be even more aware of situations I put myself in through what has happened in my case. If ever you feel too tired ask for help no matter what time of day it is.