my daughter, kashia is four years old, and i love her to pieces. i have her alternate months with her mum. but my girlfriend is currently 20 weeks pregnant, and when the new baby comes i still want kashia to be as a big a part of mine and my current girlfriends life. kashia knows that sarah is pregnant, and understands that she will get a new baby brother or sister.
any advice? thanks
J.
(6)
@daddy_jord they best way to make sure she doesnt get jealous or feel left out is to involve her in as much as you can during both the pregnancy and once baby arrives. Maybe you could buy a book that will explain to her whats happening etc with the pregnancy and once the baby is born. I bought one for my daughter which she loved when I was expecting my 2nd! Ways to involve her during pregnancy could be talking to bump, taking her shopping to buy something special for the baby, a teddy or clothes. Maybe ask her for some ideas for names for the baby (you dont have to use them but it will make her feel involved) my daughter loved the name Cody for a boy when I was pregnant, me and my partner couldnt make our mind up with boys names but guess what we had a boy and called him cody! lol Once baby is born there are a few things you can do. Buy her a big sister present from the baby, maybe something that you know she has been wanting for ages. You could also get a photo frame saying big sister on it and put the first photo of her holding the baby into it. Try and get her to come and see baby as early as you can once the baby is born, you dont want her to have to wait a whole month to see the baby if she is with her mum. Hopefully her mum will allow this, certainly sounds like she will! Once baby is home get your daughter involved in silly little things like getting the nappies, wipes, bibs etc. Might seem silly to you but will mean alot to her because she will think she is being helpfull. Most importantly make sure that you and your partner spend time alone with her both during the pregnancy and when baby arrives so that she feels loved and doesnt feel left out. Could be something as simple as drawing with her, making cakes etc but make sure that you try not to talk about baby during these times because it is your special one on one time. If she brings baby into the convo then of course talk about it then but try not to bring it up yourself. Hope this helps
get her/him to help out with the new baby
eg. if you are cleaning a nappy get him/her to pass you the wipes, clean nappy and sudocream
She shouldn't get too jealous as long as you let her know that she is still daddy's number one girl. Just remember that children aren't malicious. So just spread the love and keep everyone calm and happy and you'll be fine xxx
@daddy_jord i think @mumof2 has it spot on. We did the present from baby to big sister and it got her major kudos lol. The simple things are the ones that count lke cuddles with baby and daddy and your partner but then lots of time just her and one of you so she feels shes getting enough attention. I'm sure she'll let you know if she thinks she's not getting enough!!! xxx
@LittleMumma + @mumof2 - thanks so much again. i never thought of buying her like, big sister presents and that and im sure her mum will be more than happy to thanks alot
thanks yeah thats helped quite a lot coz i only have kashia alternate months, i was quite worried about her getting jealous of me spending more time with the little one
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just make sure you give her alot of attention aswell, when ever new babys come onto the family ts hard to be the same as before as they do require so much attention but maybe just do little things like when the babys asleep just sit down and cuddle her or play or take her out somewhere and buy her nice things as the new babty wont really care weather they have these things as much, also make her involved in the babies life like ask her to helo out with changing nappies and all sorts as this will let her bond with the baby and try to do things liek that and get her involved with the pregnancy aslong as she doesnt feel left out and shes included in all you can then she should be fine. alot of the time if children do fee leftout when a new baby comes into the family the start to 'regress' as in go backwards and this will porbably happen but just make sure 'baby like' nehaviour is not punished but just ignored so they know it will not get them anymore attention. hope this helps
by Elliie 18 July 2010
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